CHESKA, my alter ego

I was watching the episode of Ellen Degeneres show on YouTube (i love this show... i love ellen and i love ellen-portia as a couple)with Beyonce as her guest...

they were talking about Beyonce's new album I AM SASHA FIERCE... and that in this album... beyonce showed two sides of her... her real self which is the I AM part and the SASHA FIERCE (her alter ego) the one who dances so WOW and sings the upbeat songs...

as per Beyonce... as her real self, she prefers the ballads and all soulful songs that she sings... and i kinda like it too...

but a part of me LOVES the SASHA FIERCE alter ego, personally because who doesnt wanna see beyonce dance... i mean the voice is great but the dancing really gets me going...

and to be quite honest... i dont dance much but whenever i hear a BEYONCE song like SINGLE LADIES, my feet goes thumthumthum and my head and shoulders dances with the beat...

after sayng this... i ask myself... i must look psychotic dancing with feet, head and shoulders.. missing the middle region movement... (and to be honest again, i cant dance with the waist region... haha i SUCK... really SUCK)

anyways... back to the alter ego topic... how i wish i had one.. like SASHA FIERCE... hehe like what beyonce said... atleast with SASHA FIERCE she can blame all the bad stuff she's been doin to her alter ego...

I dont knwo, i may be really moody... but then i dont really have that OTHER PERSONA... this is just me... nothing more, nothng less...

sometimes its hard to ahave one single persona.,.. why? coz either people expect the usual stuff from you... or sometimes you just wanna let loose... but cant ... because you are limited to your own personality... which sucks....

but also, its great... not much of a POKER FACE... what you see is what you get... I look tame... but im not... and people who are close to me knows that. thats all that matters... i dont have SASHA FIERCE/BEYONCE tandem... all i got is KOKO.... oh i guess the other one is MARIKO... the shy little girl a decade ago... but its not excatly my alter ego... that was more like the CATTERPILLAR (did i spelled it out right?) and now im the BUTTERFLY... (not as gay as it sounds okay? im just saying i have grown into ME)

but then IF I HAD AN ALTER EGO... hmmmm maybe ill call her CHESKA... haha the girly, feminine, pri, proper, lady version of me...

I guess now that CHESKA is out... i think poeple will like her better... oh well... hahah CHESKA is never gonna happen... ITS KOKO and only me you got haha